Depression

There are differing severities of depression or low mood. In its mildest form, depression may not interfere with normal life. We have all, at times, felt ‘down in the dumps’ or ‘blue’.

At its most severe, depression can be very debilitating and can seem to strip life of its colour and enjoyment. At this point, it’s very difficult for people to do the things that they would normally do and it is a very real feeling.

Depression can make it very hard to find any enjoyment in life, even from loved ones, which can be very difficult to experience. Depression is made up of different symptoms, some of which are outlined below:

Feelings:

• Low, sad, upset or numb
• Getting angry or irritated over the slightest thing
• Feeling alone, even when around others
• Not enjoying the things you used to
• Tearful

Physical sensations:

• Tiredness or lethargy
• Restlessness
• Oversleeping or not getting enough sleep
• Changes in appetite

Actions:

• Can’t be bothered to do things you normally do
• Putting things off
• Wanting to spend more time on your own
• Finding it hard to make decisions

Thoughts:

• Expecting the worst
• Negative thoughts about yourself
• Thinking others think negatively about you
• Thinking everything seems hopeless
• Worrying or finding it hard to concentrate
• Going over and over things in your mind
• Thoughts of being better off dead or of hurting yourself

Often, there are several factors. Sometimes depression can be linked to external pressures, like difficult life events such as divorce or unemployment.

Circumstance plays a role too. For example, unsuitable housing, not having enough money, a harsh work environment or loneliness could be a factor. New mums can be prone to depression too. This is known as postnatal depression or PND. Sometimes there isn’t an obvious cause, though a closer look may reveal internal pressures, like negative thoughts which are known to increase feelings of depression.

It’s common for people experiencing depression to be hard on themselves, focus on mistakes and have an unrealistic expectation of the person they ‘should be’. Thoughts like, “I should be better, and should be handling things better. I should know better,” are common. Often we compare ourselves negatively to others, which makes us feel worse.

Depression can also be linked to feeling powerless. Sometimes we don’t think we can stand up for ourselves, get our needs met or take care of ourselves. Sometimes we even believe this may be ‘selfish’.

Whether we know the trigger of depression or not, the route out is the same. We need to bring attention to our thoughts and our actions.

There may be many events that come and go that cause us distress throughout our lifetime. It’s what we focus on, how we think and what we do that will determine how long we remain distressed, upset or angry by these events. By bringing our attention to our thoughts and actions, we can stop the vicious cycle in its tracks, allowing us to move forward.

Our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are linked. If we have negative thoughts about ourselves, this will trigger feelings such as frustration. This may then lead us to withdraw from people around us, and not do the things we would normally do. These actions then reinforce the self-critical and negative thoughts. In this way we get ‘trapped’ in a vicious cycle.

Often when we are low we want to do less and hide away. This can lead to problems mounting up and stops us getting the enjoyment we would normally experience from being around our loved ones. Low mood can make it harder to enjoy usual activities but it is possible to find a way through this.

Try and keep your routine as normal as possible. If you usually go swimming on a Tuesday, for example, try to keep doing this. You won’t want to at first, and may not even enjoy it initially, but if you persevere your feelings may start to change.

Often we wait until we feel better before we start doing things again, but with a little bit of self-encouragement we can use activity to help us feel better. We can start enjoying our activities again and get a sense of achievement from them.

Try and identify if there is anything you are putting off. Look at breaking it into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, cleaning the house can be broken into:

• Dusting the living room
• Hoovering the dining room
• And so on

Tackle it one step at a time.

Try and think of activities you enjoy and activities you do routinely (such as cleaning) and aim for a combination of these throughout your week. It can help to write down what you plan to do in a diary or calendar or tell someone what you are going to do.

Although it doesn’t always seem this way, just because we think something, doesn’t mean it is true.

As our thoughts are accompanied by feelings, this can make our thoughts seem much more true. Also, when we are feeling low we are much more likely to see the negative and ignore the positive in any situation. For example, if someone yawns while we are talking, people feeling low are more likely to think, “I’m a boring person”, rather than, “They are probably just tired”.

This thought can even be strong enough or believable enough to make us stop talking, or forget what we want to say, so we can see the impact our thoughts have on our experience.

But it’s important that we don’t let our thoughts run away with themselves. Often our first impressions can prove inaccurate or we can jump to conclusions only later to be proven wrong. Have you ever had an experience like this?

If you have negative thoughts, try asking yourself the following questions:

• How big a deal is this? Will it matter in five years time?
• How might a friend see this situation?
• Is there any information I’m not taking account of?
• Am I overlooking my strengths?

It’s common for people who are feeling depressed to have thoughts of being better off dead or of hurting themselves. If you find you are having these thoughts they can be very difficult to experience. But you are not on your own with them.

Often people just don’t want to experience the feeling of depression anymore and have lost sight of their own qualities.

Depression can also lead to people self-harming — sometimes as a way of releasing very difficult emotions. If you are experiencing these sorts of thoughts or harming yourself it can really help to talk to someone.

If you are worried for yourself or anyone else you can call the 24/7 Single Point of Access on (01472) 256256 (option 3). For more help and support, see the Get Help page.

It’s important to remember that when you feel depressed, part of you is just looking for kindness. However, what we tend to do is become our own worst critic.

Think about how you would treat a friend who wasn’t feeling well.Remember that depression is an illness. It affects you physically and emotionally. Don’t expect that you will be able to do things to your usual standard.

Remember to eat well and sleep well. Try and listen to what you need and take care of yourself. Relaxation therapies, taking walks in nature, and developing compassion for yourself can help.

Remind yourself that none of us is perfect. We all make mistakes and everyone you meet is fighting their own internal battle.

If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression:

• Consider referring yourself to NHS Talking Therapies. As well as cognitive behavioural therapy, they offer counselling and psychotherapies. They offer a space for you to make sense of thoughts and feelings.
• Keep your routine as normal as possible. Try to do at least one thing each day.
• Explore other options by talking with your GP. Antidepressants can be used on their own or together with a therapeutic intervention. They change the chemistry in the brain which has a knock-on effect on mood.
• Be kind to yourself. Try pampering yourself by doing something you usually enjoy or find relaxing.
• Try relaxation techniques. NHS Talking Therapies have relaxation CDs or you can search on YouTube.
• Focus on something that has gone well lately.
• Remember to eat and drink enough water. Proper hydration and nutrition will help you feel more positive. Remember that caffeine can increase anxiety.
• Challenge your negative thoughts. Remember, just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Is there any other way of interpreting this situation; what would you say to a friend in this situation; are you putting pressure on yourself?
• Be with others. It can help to talk about how you feel.
• Don’t rely on negative coping strategies such as drinking alcohol, taking drugs, over spending and avoidance.
• Don’t put yourself down. This is time where you need kindness.
• Don’t compare yourself to others too much. You don’t know what they are experiencing.
• Don’t put pressure on yourself to feel differently.
• Don’t expect too much of yourself. You may experience difficulty in concentrating or need more time to complete routine tasks if you are feeling low.

If you’re supporting someone who is experiencing symptoms of depression:

• Encourage them to keep their routine as normal as possible.
• Encourage talking about feelings but don’t pressurise.
• Continue to offer invitations to social events, even if they are declined initially. Remember: encourage, but don’t pressurise.
• Don’t tell them to snap out of it.